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The syndrome develops in response to a three-stage cycle found in domestic violence situations. First, tension builds in the relationship. Second, the abusive partner releases tension via violence while blaming the victim for having caused the violence. Third, the violent partner makes gestures of contrition. However, the partner does not find solutions to avoid another phase of tension building and release so the cycle repeats. The repetition of the violence despite the abuser's attempts to "make nice" results in the abused partner feeling at fault for not preventing a repeat cycle of violence. However, since the victim is not at fault and the violence is internally driven by the abuser's need to control, this self-blame results in feelings of helplessness rather than empowerment. The feeling of being both responsible for and helpless to stop the violence leads in turn to depression and passivity. This learned depression and passivity makes it difficult for the abused partner to marshal the resources and support system needed to leave
The abused fears for his/her life and/or the lives of his/her children (if present).
The abused has an irrational belief that the abuser is omnipresent and omniscient.
There is a mixture of love, training, and correction.
Eventually, the woman starts to doubt her judgment and abilities and starts
slowly to turn her "locus of control" (decision-making and power) over to the
abuser.
Eventually she enters what is called "learned helplessness", doubting herself and
believing more of what is "true" and "correct" from the abuser who uses love,
control, and correction to manipulate and mold the woman.
Finally that psychological mind-game may erupt in shouts, yells, shaming, and
embarrassing the woman. So the battering gears up. It has cycles and there is a range of battering type
behavior. (Usually only the extreme version is shown in movies).
It is psychological warfare at the worst and at the least a "control freak" who, if he
does not have his way, erupts into rage or a feeling that he is being victimized by
the inadequacy of the woman, whom he needs to bring into line.
Dictatorship naturally arises out of democracy, and the most aggravated form of tyranny and slavery out of the most extreme liberty.
Plato
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.
Thomas Jefferson
Concentrated power has always been the enemy of liberty.
Ronald Reagan
Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.
Henry David Thoreau
Over grown military establishments are under any form of government inauspicious to liberty, and are to be regarded as particularly hostile to republican liberty.
George Washington
To deprive a man of his natural liberty and to deny to him the ordinary amenities of life is worse then starving the body; it is starvation of the soul, the dweller in the body.
Mahatma Gandhi
Originally posted by KhufuKeplerTriangle
How to tear down the "tower" of tyranny and replace it with virtue and the strength of the people?
All I can say is STAND TALL, make that vote for the values that USA had stood up for since 1776 and be the leader of the free world that our forefathers had sacrificed their precious lives for next generations of americans and humanity for.
So what are the symptoms of this addiction?
Ignoring the truth would be one. If you truly know that the relationship you are in is making you unhappy but make no effort to exit from it, then you are in denial and are holding yourself hostage in a situation you do not have to be in. Making excuses for your partners disappointing and bad behavior will keep you trapped and is another huge symptom of bad relationship addiction, especially if the excuses you produce do not back up the facts and are unrealistic. If you do finally build up the courage to confront your partner to leave him or her but are overcome with fear and therefore back off from the confrontation, you are a high and sure victim of addiction because no matter what you attempt, you find yourself always giving in and holding on to what you know is bad for you. Suffering from both physical and mental discomfort once broken up, unless you get back together, is yet another symptom of addiction and should not be denied or ignored.