Almost had a pretty good day

So I'm in the process of going through a break up with a gorgeous girl and it's really hard. I gave just about everything and changed just about everything to be with her to watch it just go down the drain. I could have her back if I wanted but I've been very disrespected, not cheating or anything but it has gotten to the point where our families are involved and it's caused a lot of drama. She would go back and forth saying she loved me and then didn't as soon as she got pissed about something. I made excuses for her a lot because of her depression and problems with anarexia.

Anyway eventually I realized that her fits were pretty convenient as to what I was or wasn't doing for her and her baby (which I was not the father of but acted as though I was). She is a sweet girl, but is truly concerned with her own ambitions and was not head over heels for me like I was for her. She said she would give all she had to give, but at the end of the day there wasn't a lot left over. She really just liked the life we had and what I did for her. She liked me too don't get me wrong, but I don't believe you can go from one week saying you weren't sure you were in love to the next week being desperately that way just because things weren't going how you thought they would. I grew a spine.

I'm trying to keep my head above water and have been living my own life more often lately. Even woke up this morning thinking about her and didn't hurt quite as much. Then at the end of the day this old lady that works in my office asks me about her. I told her we were still broken up, and she said "oh you mean you didn't work it out yet?" I asked what she meant by that and she just said she could see a glimmer in my eye when people bring her up.

Yes I do love this girl. Yes I would love more than anything for there to be some magical way to work it out and end this loneliness. But that means that in the end I would not truly be happy and I'm just setting myself up for her to repeat the same cycle she's aready been allowed to repeat a few times. I'm tired of being expendable until the point you almost lose me. I'd like to fall in love with someone who loves me back. Problem is the only women I seem to be attracted to are the ones that hang me out to dry. I've went through three in a row now that were all good looking, but had mental problems and ended up #ing me up in the end. I know I'm not without fault, and trust me I've analyzed what I have done wrong in each situation. But this time. This last ex had little to absolutely nothing to complain about. all she had to do was settle down and help me build our life together. Nothing was EVER good enough. She would appreciate things I did for her, but the next day it's like none of it mattered. Hell for my birthday I got a poster, and for christmas I got ummm. Oh yeah nothing at all from her.

I don't really know why I'm ranting except for the fact that I have no plans tonight and I need to get it all out of my head before I just dwell on it. Worst part is her best friend lives right across the street from me. So I can't avoid it. This pain in the gut will just stay until.... Well I damn sure hope it's not long.

That is all. no real point. thanks for reading.

reply to post by stonedogdiary


Sounds like she was using you, and probably did love you too. When the using over shadows the love it's time to move on.

I've been there.

I would say more, but I'll keep it simple for now.

Have a good day man
oh, and,
have a nice night too.

Been there, done that.

GET OUT WHILE YOUR STILL SANE.

'she ain't pretty,she just looks that way!'
run my friend! run as fast as you can!
within a few short months you will see what you sacrificed for her,and you'll start to live again!
she sounds like a needy child who throws a temper tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants!
she loves you when your her bi#$%$ch,but she's not sure if she loves you when you think for yourself!

RUN FAR AWAY FROM HER! you have your own life,live and love for yourself.
looks aren't everything ya know.
plenty of gals out there who are cute that have as much love for you as you do for them.
peace

p.s. ive been there before. ain't worth it!

Perhaps in the future, you should choose a mate based on their character and personality rather than their looks. Most men don't seem to be able to do that, though, and so we have stories like yours, and a bunch of pretty beotches running around from man to man, using, abusing, and then losing.

If she's not pretty on the inside as well, maybe you should keep things casual. Eventually, you will learn. Consider this: If you were blind, would you really love this woman? Or would you realize that she is a user and a bipolar pain in the butt?

Food for thought. Best of luck to you.

f that b in the a and then be done, more tuna in the sea, since i was a kid i noticed that people come and go, and not just girls, friends family, neighbors teachers everyone is coming or going, if u get lucky u will find someone to come and go with u, till that day my friend.

reply to post by stonedogdiary


I am no professional when it comes to dating. However I have learned a few things along the path of life when it comes to relationships.

Upon observing others, and their failed attempts at relationships I quickly learned not to rush into it.

Relationships are built upon trust, humility and attraction. Attraction all around is difficult because one may be physically attractive, yet not intellectually and vice/versa.

Compromise is crucial. No two people will ever agree on EVERYTHING. Sometimes it is best to agree to disagree and leave it at that.

Respect for one another leads to compromise, leads to trust, leads to better understanding. Keep in mind that there is a difference between respecting an individual, and respecting the commitment you share with them.

When one or the other is not connected on the same level, it is easy to slip in communication.

I believe when two people are ready at the same time in their life that they can come together focused on the ideas of what they are looking for in a partner, and where they would like to go in the relationship. If both parties are on the same page, and there is mutual attraction... Game on!!

I met my girl last November. Never before have I encountered such grace and understanding in a woman. She's great looking, intelligent, and for the most part is emotionally stable, lol! We have our differences that we accept, as well as common goals towards our journey together. All in all we have the acceptance of one another both as individuals and as a team.

In truth it takes two to make it work. She may or may not know what direction she would like to move in with you. On one hand it sounds as if you are providing things to her and her child that she obviously would not have otherwise. It is unfortunate to know that the Childs feelings are going to be effected if you indeed do not work out. It can also be seen as a positive if in fact your staying together may just produce resentments. In the long run it is about YOU.

Stay strong my friend. Things will indeed play out as they are supposed to in time.

reply to post by stonedogdiary


I'm sorry to hear about it, man. I'm going through a break up too, as of Saturday. That terrible urge to puke, the pain in your chest and gut, the dreams, the random feeling that she's thinking about you.... I know it all too well. This is the second time that she's left me like this, and it sucks. A lot.

I feel for you. And good luck. I really hope everything works out well for you and you either find someone worthy of your time, or she makes the necessary changes to do right by you, and love you the way you love her.

You have a choice before getting into relationships, you can either love the most, or be loved the most. It is helpful to know yourself. If you can love the most, then you will have situations like you have described, the thing is, if you have chosen to be the one who loves the most, then ride it out. If you are the one who is loved the most, the challenges are different, you must work at respecting your partner and not abusing your power, and you might end up being stalked, lol

Rarely is the relationship equal. With each person loving the same. So choose which one you want to be and then find a relationship that suits you.

I agree with previous poster about values, be attracted to real things that last, and not superficial things that do not. Broaden your horizons, try swimming in the she looks nice pool, instead of the isn't she gorgeous one.

reply to post by stonedogdiary


Just sleep with her best friend from across the street...then you'll feel better about it...




(just kidding, sorry for the humor jab)... As the old saying goes, time heals all wounds.

reply to post by stonedogdiary


If your there when they got problems and feeling down and she ain't there when you got problems or felling down then my friend she is just there for a ride ie she is using you, and your probably not the only one. I would say get rid of her and get rid of her fast, and if she comes back again keep some rotten tomatoes on hand, and throw it at her whenever she comes around.

What do you call somebody who only comes around when they got problems and issues, or when they want something?...Your lover?...Or a parasite?. Now if she was a friend, and she came around like that. Then things would be different because you would not have the whole "emotional ties" to her on that "level" But from all you said she is not...So get rid of the bitch, and remember the tomatoes.

Society is a joke with the dating scene, nobody cares about anybody - so you have a group of people from the opposite sexes who all hate each other, but they still claim to be single as if they wanted love - they want to hate their fellow human beings of the world. The world is full of hate and there is so little love. They say love is happiness, but for me happiness is forcing to believe that there is no existence of love, because who can be happy when they see such a lack of love. This drove society to act crazy in many cases, but I should be able to direct it positively.

reply to post by stonedogdiary


The passage of time will only help you, instead of feelings running throughout of you of her, you've got to build new ones with new people.

One of the most helpful therapies imo is going and meeting new people and trying things you never tried before, let tell you one thing, that wasn't the last chapter in your life, but a mere chapter, heck it might've even been half a chapter.

This world is full of gorgeous people so fret not theres probably only a few million people out there you will be more attracted to than her so consider her doing you a favor, its time to move on with life, that next chapter, make it epic.

Originally posted by greyer
Society is a joke in the dating scene, nobody cares about anybody - so you have a groupd of people from the opposite sexes who all hate each other, but they still claim to be single as if they wanted love - they want a dream and they hate the world. My heart is so low today it might as well be on the ground so everyone can happily walk all over it - the world is full of hate and there is so little love, I am sad because of it.

You sir, my only advice is to just let go.

Originally posted by Gazrok
reply to post by stonedogdiary

 

Just sleep with her best friend from across the street...then you'll feel better about it...




(just kidding, sorry for the humor jab)... As the old saying goes, time heals all wounds.

Hey in all honesty, it'd probably work... haaaa

Originally posted by Apheon
You sir, my only advice is to just let go.

Check my edit - happiness is believing in the nonexistence of love

I think it's definelty good to share, so I like reading and the I like the title.

The title identify's with my day - because I can see the lack of love from the opposite gender in my world. I am beginning to see through all of the pychological hidden truths, that the degree of love a person has for someone is automatically displayed immediately, and that there are different 'cultures' that like me, it is disturbing.

Mostly I have a hard time letting go because the sex was sooo good. lol Took me months to get my mind off of my ex. She was a pain in the ass though, just can't handle a year and a half of drama, and risk of getting a baby at an early age. She was even talking of getting married. Both of us were in grade 10 lol. So I called it quits 3 times.