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Originally posted by mossme89
Call me crazy, but i'm currently trying a different method to controlling the hormones. Denial. Meaning, that i deny myself sexual activity (including wanking). After time, my body stops giving me spikes of hormones and levels off. It worked for Nikola Tesla and it worked for me before.
Originally posted by windwaker
Originally posted by mossme89
Call me crazy, but i'm currently trying a different method to controlling the hormones. Denial. Meaning, that i deny myself sexual activity (including wanking). After time, my body stops giving me spikes of hormones and levels off. It worked for Nikola Tesla and it worked for me before.
Okay...now you're just being a jerk. Stop your whining and go out and have fun. Denial of sex? You are going to regret it when you get older.
You take yourself way too seriously, my friend.
Originally posted by mossme89
reply to post by sara123123
Maybe that's part of what's going on, senioritis. It feels like HS is jail and it's incredibly hard to motivate myself to do much of anything.
Originally posted by mossme89
I ran a race today, a 5K. Finished in 21:20 and first place for my age group (7/200 overall). Afterwards, i talked with a bunch of people and had a good time. It made me think, whatever goes on in the world, it still doesn't mean i can't have a good time. If an opportunity to really help and change things presents itself, I'll capitalize on it. But in the meantime, it doesn't suit anybody to sit around being miserable.
So thanks to everyone for your comments, thoughts, prayers, and help. I just hit rock bottom before, but i'm on my way back up again
Originally posted by mossme89
I'm so sick of going to school and learning about things that other people deem important, being indoctrinated. I only do it because i feel like i have to in order to do anything in society. Nowadays, you can't get a good job without a college degree. I'm still in HS btw. Plus, being in school gets me around people, which is really one of my only pleasures, socializing. But secretly, i resent the bureaucrats and elite who make me do this. Why should i have to learn Spanish to graduate? I feel helpless and powerless against this machine we call the system.
I think every day of why i'm this way. Why i'm able to see how messed up society is, and why i just can't seem to buy into a 9-5 job and schooling. Why i resent authority. Why I'm OCD and have a temper. Why I'm a bit of a loner, introvert yet am happiest around people (a bit of a paradox).
I'm rooting for the whole 2012 thing because frankly i can't stand it anymore. But the rational part of me tells me that nothing will really change. I don't know what will happen.
I keep trying to envision a society that i would like to be in, but think of a logical way to get from here to there (open, free society, abundant resources, free energy, live and let live approach, etc.) The world I'm in and the world i want to be in are 2 different worlds. Perhaps being 17 has something to do with it. i'm at that age where the identity crisis is at it's peak and i can see that. But i just get so down when i start to think about my future. With things the way things are now, i can't do anything without money. What i want is to be able to be free to do as i please (without harming anyone). To be able to travel and meet people. To be able to relax at the beach if i feel like it. To just have fun. Yet i can't do that in our current world without money.
I try to have fun with the little things in life, yet it's so hard when the world is so messed up. If I try to forget about what's going on in the world, and have a good time, i feel like i'm turning a blind eye to the world and feel guilty. If i mess up, i beat myself up and feel guilt for a while. With OCD, i get random thoughts sometimes, like unwanted, crude and disgusting thoughts. It's a dark side. I feel like such a bad person because i have these thoughts.
I'm not going to kill myself or anything, but i'm just so tired and worn out of everything. I'm posting this here because I'm hoping you guys can give me some advice. I don't think I'm mentally unstable, I'm just really depressed over how our world is. The nature of my depression is that of a more complex and philosophical nature, which is why i thought ATS would be a good place to post this.edit on 2-12-2010 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)edit on 2-12-2010 by mossme89 because: (no reason given)
Originally posted by Psychiatrium
reply to post by amc621
considering that I am 16yo, there's not alot of thing I can do.
and that again is depressing.
Originally posted by Segador
Your lack of power is your own fault and you are the cause for your own depression.
Originally posted by OnTheFelt
reply to post by mossme89
Mossme,
From your OP, it is quite apparent that you are a good writer. You express yourself well and seem to enjoy doing so. Perhaps, your calling is right in front of you and you have not realized it.
Become a writer and help change the errors of our world by expressing your ideas with others. Perhaps it will enable you to reach the sense of fulfillment you are searching for.
Remember, you are far from alone in your perceptions, and in fact it is quite normal to feel such discontent at times. Just keep on grinding my friend....chin up, head forward, shoulders lowered!