Where on Earth does something like this happen?

Dear Fellow ATSers & anonymous readers,
Some will doubt this, and others may find it very funny, while others may find it very odd. Any way you interpret this, let me know what you guys think of this scenario, because it is real, and really weird if you want my honest opinion.

Personal background on me and my relationship status:
I'm 38 years old, never married, and have no children. Yes, I am straight, heterosexual. The last real relationship I was in that I would consider a real relationship was Twelve years ago. I was firefighter in the usaf, and due to working 90+ hour weeks, 24 hour+ shifts, and yearly deployments for months or longer at a stretch, burdening someone with this was not a priority of mine. I worked with mostly women at a hospital for children from the ages of 15 to 26 prior to my 11 years in the usaf, more than three years total spent in warzones. However, when I was stateside I usually had (a total of 8 all together) Las Vegas Showgirls and "Strippers" as roomates, friends, who were plutonic, and they had their own bathroom and bedrooms, while stationed at Nellis.

Now I am living on the outskirts of a small town in central Illinois in a nice house in the woods, and with one of my younger brothers. There are only seven houses within a 2 mile radius. I'm retired and recieve a generous pension. Here is where it gets weird....

About nearly a month ago at a little after midnight I was on my favorite website, ATS, when someone came knocking at the door. I jumped up thinking, ok probably someone in trouble, instead I open the door and there is this petite English accented, young, very attractive, very good looking lady on my front porch, probably not older than her mid 20s. The road is dark and not well lit. She comes to my door after midnight, though the lights were on, and asks for a ride into town, saying she lives a few doors down, down one of the dead end no outlet roads. She says she does not care to walk down the road in the dark, and since I have Afghanistan & Iraq veteran stickers and firefighter stickers, and support the troops ribbons on my car, I figured that perhaps she judged me as being a good character, which I think I am. I am comfortable looking at myself in the mirror and not hating what I see, and have a good sense of humor, which helps.

I throw on a shirt, and agree to give her a ride into town. We talk along the way, and she tells me about moving to America almost a year earlier, and that she is from the UK. It's less than a five minute drive, I tell her a little about myself and my service, and that I'm originally from the area (central Illinois), although moved around a lot as a kid (lived in 9 towns/cities before graduating high school). When I get to where I am dropping her off, a grocery store near downtown where there are bars and clubs also, she pulls out a pen and piece of paper and gives me her cell phone number and tells me to call her sometime. I haven't yet. About two weeks later, a little over a week ago, I was out in the yard with my dog Fido who was chasing some dear in a circle and I was laughing my ass off because when they do this I can't tell who is chasing who, they are evenly spaced, three young deer with mom off to the side watching, and it just looks funny to me, when she drives by in a Taxi and rolls down the window to wave and yell hi.

Now, tonight, time was a little after 9 pm here when I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth, when I come out I hear a female's voice in my house not really yelling but with an elevated voice saying "Hello, is anyone in here?" The front porch light was not on, but the house lights are, and TV and laptop here on the coffee table are also on. She cracked the door open and was standing in the doorway and Fido is on the couch back next to the window and by the door sniffing her hand. And I'm right, she is hottie. period. I leave my door unlocked most of the time, so what. I don't live with too many fears. Anyways, I start laughing, say "Hello Katrina (her name) I'm sorry but my brother took my car to work tonight because his truck is broke down right now." Then I offer to walk with her if she is afraid of the dark road, but she says that is ok, and asks if I still have her number, and tells me to call her sometime. She is a n eighbor. Also, there are a few houses down the road she might be able to get a ride from.

My concern is how level headed is a girl who comes up to a stranger's house after midnight to ask for a ride into town? My landlord lives nearby, and other than that I have not associated with any of my neighbors with the exception of occassionally stopping to say hi and make small talk while walking Fido, so there is not too much she could have known about me or my brother.

She seems like a lttle bit of a bimbo, but also has said some smart things, and she didn't smell like alchohol or anything. Her body language and facial expressions sent no bad vibes.

So, is it me, or is this weird to anyone else, too? Maybe I have just spent too much time in warzones or big cities, and just have come to believe this is abnormal behavior. I don't know.

Thanks for reading all this and sharing your input, opinions welcome,
John Paul

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


I don't know man.....that is pretty weird, in a "I'm desperate" kinda way. It looks like she has no car and to take those kinda risks just to get noticed? I would be really careful with this cause it screams really desperate or really stupid, IMHO.

Yes I too think it's weird and would advise caution. Not too bright for a woman alone to be knocking on a strangers door late at night and taking a ride with him. And to just waltz into your house without knocking is rather bold.

Yeah, it sounds weird, all right. I really don't know what to tell you. Now, if she'd called you by name without you giving it to her, it would be even weirder.

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


Ermmm.

A cute hot girl comes to your house , tells you to call her and you are asking what you should do about it

Are you SURE you're heterosexual?

Whats the worst that can happen, she turns out to be a odd and you don't see her any more, unless she's that cute English female serial killer we have all heard so much about..

P.S. If she's English she will probably be a nightmare but that's just from my own experience

reply to post by HopeHoldingFast


Thanks for your honest opinion. I do have some reservations, but her being desperate is hard to imagine. But, there is a reason I didn't text or call her in the last month, it just seemed a little weird to me, too.

She has to be at least 10 yrs younger than me, and I decided a few years back (around 32, I'm 38 now) that I wouldn't date anyone who was younger than 25. Perhaps age isn't important, but maturity is important to me, and I'm not sure how dependent or mature someone is who has a functioning body that can't find work enough to have her own transportation. But, then again she lives outside of town, and having transportation is needed for work. Also, I myslef have not had a job for nearly a year since getting out of the military. Over a hundred interviews end up with "You are too qualified for any position we currently have available." Hell, I have even told a few of them that I would be willing to be less competent for a little less or a little more pay. I do collect a generous pension check that keeps me living comfortable, but I just wish I had something to do. My point is that the area is in a recession, and even my brother, who is finishing his master degree online, has a job that is beneath him being a manager at a McDonalds, and he is picking up and turning in about 10 applications a week, for about seven months now. It is difficult to find a job around here.

Anyways, I thank you for your input HopeHoldingFast. I take it you think she is desperate for .... something for some reason, or maybe somewhat of an airhead or ditz. Labels I don't really care for, but a kin to stupid no less.

I just don't know how to react to some young good looking girl sorta hitting on me at my own house late at night twice in one month. Maybe it was just about getting a ride, and I'm reading a little too much into it. It could be possible.

Thanks,
ET

Originally posted by Night Star
And to just waltz into your house without knocking is rather bold.

She may have been knocking and I could not hear her over the electric tooth brush in my mouth and the radio on in the bathroom. I'm pretty sure she probably knocked first. I have money in the house, she has a cell phone on her, I should have offered to pay for a taxi or something, but I don't know how late the Taxi service works around here, but surely they are open for business until after the bars close.

thanks,
ET

As a woman, I would never ever do such a thing. And can not believe a logical sane woman would. I see many red flags.

And as a man alone, you should be careful and avoid any situation that could turn around and bite you in the arse. Just because she is a pretty woman does not mean there are not things that could go wrong - for you.

I suggest you not allow yourself to be alone with her anymore until you can find out some independent information on her.

Very strange behavior for a woman to do alone - at night. And to just walk in your house? Something is not "right".

Originally posted by davespanners
reply to post by Esoteric Teacher

 

A cute hot girl comes to your house , tells you to call her and you are asking what you should do about it

If she becomes "my girl" so to speak, that sort of makes me responsible for her safety and well being as her boyfriend, although I feel that way towards everyone anyways, obligated towards their best interests also, that is. I have a sense of community, and humanitarianism. But what kind of situations would a girl lacking certain judgements be for me in the long hall, I have to ask myself.

Are you SURE you're heterosexual?

I can't even imagine being any other way, but biological obligations do not make all the decisions. Not to sound too defensive about not being gay, but even if every gun on the face of this planet were aimed at my head and threatening to fire, I doubt I would be able to "choose" to be sexually aroused by another man. I'm 38, if I had homosexual tendencies I would think I would have been aware of them by now. Puberty came more than 20 years ago.

Whats the worst that can happen, she turns out to be a odd and you don't see her any more, unless she's that cute English female serial killer we have all heard so much about..

What is the worst that could happen? 3 plus years in warzones ... that is a good question. I guess I have little to fear, but don't care for too much drama, like excitement sometimes and being spontaneous and free, but I do not like senseless soap opera drama.

Thanks for sharing your input with me davespanners,
ET

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


Thought this was going to be another one of those darn black eyed children story. Anyways, is anything else weird happening? Maybe she likes you and just wanted a "date." That or you on the outskirts and she was sent to keep an eye on you.

Who knows, but trust your vibes, if it feels at all weird go with that.

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


I agree with greeneyedleo, I see red flags here. I'd be very careful. Maybe she knows a bit about you from the locals and is looking to take advantage of your good nature? I had a girlfriend who saw me as an ATM, and as love is blind, we don't see past the damn leaves in the jungle.

She may be a hottie, but don't let that cloud your judgement. Your gut is obviously telling you something doesn't seem right. I've found my gut to be a good barmoter, unfortunately, I've sometimes gone the other route, only to regret it at the end.

Now I'm not saying she is a conniving con-man. just check her out for a while.

BTW - I wish some hottie would come knock on my apartment door

her behaviour does seem a little odd to me. If it was me in your shoes, I would just leave it as it is. As shes a neighbour, you'll be running into her again. Have some more small talk with her and decypher any agendas/oddities that are giving you the odd vibes. She could well just be an open honest forward person. More talk with her will show you whats what. She could fancy you, but you'll work out if her personallity is worth it. The more her story squares up the better your judgement. As i said, i wouldn't rush it and to me its a bit odd. 2 late visits, brother not around (is she watching for him to leave), and if she starts asking you too much about your usaf days, or ATS ...

What is the worst that could happen? 3 plus years in warzones ... that is a good question. I guess I have little to fear, but don't care for too much drama, like excitement sometimes and being spontaneous and free, but I do not like senseless soap opera drama.

don't know about the US, but some places - a 6 month 'de-facto' relationship = half your assets on break-up.
retired - own rural home - ...

It's been a long time for you, so call the girl. Take her out, just be careful and don't let the girl get in your head. If she could already come in your house, she could have already done whatever nefarious thing she wanted, be it burglary, psycho killer or whatever. I mean what else is she going to get or do to you?

The girl is probably just lonely and a little off in the head. Not the optimal date, but hey, how long's it been?

reply to post by CitizenNum287119327


Actually this is probably a more intelligent approach.
So on second thought, I'd go with this. Neighbors can get complicated, particularly if they have mental issues, so better to discern that first.

Thank you so much for weighing in on this GEL, your opinion is respected by me

Originally posted by greeneyedleo
As a woman, I would never ever do such a thing. And can not believe a logical sane woman would. I see many red flags.

Obviously me too GEL. But this is the second time in a month that she has come to my door at a relatively late hour, and doesn't really know much about me. I actually wondered about her sanity night one around midnight when she showed up knocking on the door.

I asked her: "What would compel you to come knocking on my door this late hour out here?"
Her response: "I do not feel safe walking down the road." (it is very dark, and hardly ever any traffic)
My response was: "So you come knocking on my door in the middle of the night? You don't know me and I could be dangerous"
She looked at the bumper of my car (which led me to think she had thought about the bumper stickers and stuff, indicating I'm retired Air Force, veteran of wars, and a firefighter).
Then she looked at me and said "I have mace".

I'm not lying, I just started laughing. I've been sprayed with mace on more than one occassion for training purposes in the military. If I wished her ill will, neither her or her mace could of stopped me. I'm not a huge guy, I'm a little more than 5'10 and 220 lbs, muscular, but with a little bit of a gut, 35 inch waistline, so I'm a little stout. There is a picture of me in this avatar mini background image here in this post in another thread (scroll down towards the bottom). She on the other hand is about 5'3 and easily half my weight, if not less. Usually I wear my "smiling eyes", I can be intimidating, but I don't care too much for when people fear me.

And as a man alone, you should be careful and avoid any situation that could turn around and bite you in the arse. Just because she is a pretty woman does not mean there are not things that could go wrong - for you.

Damn good advice, which is one thing I did not like about the entire situation. Just being in that situation made me uncomfortable and a little nervous. A woman can claim a lot of things, but me knowing me, and my lack of any criminal record, and my service record, and work history would probably speak volumes about my character, I would think. Also, I am still in contact with old friends and female roomates who would speak to my character, I even set one of them up with another friend from the fire department, and they have been married for 6 years now . I played a match maker, and it worked, once.

I suggest you not allow yourself to be alone with her anymore until you can find out some independent information on her.

That is sane advice, and perhaps I should lock my doors more often as well, not just when I'm sleeping at night. I cannot fathom how trusting ... or unthinking ... or perhaps just plain naive she may be. Until I know more about her, I don't care for someone making accusations about me or putting me in a position where she could make such claims.

Very strange behavior for a woman to do alone - at night. And to just walk in your house? Something is not "right".

Thank you! I was thinking maybe it is small town life in central Illinios, and people may just assume the best in others, but yes. It is damn peculiar, odd, weird, and "not right" in my opinion as well. This was our second encounter, both of which she initiated, late at night, at my house, in the woods, out on the edge of town, ....

I don't think she is developmentally disabled, but I just wanted to see what other people would think about this. It does not seem like something a knowledgible woman would do, in my opinion.

Thanks again GEL for sharing your thoughts with me on this, much appreciated,
John Paul G. , usaf firedog (retired)

reply to post by Esoteric Teacher


Did she by any chance say "Why" she was out so late at night, in basically what I'm understanding is "the middle of nowhere" when you gave her a ride home? Did she mention what she was doing out there? It's just strange to me. I guess it all comes down to how you feel about it. Do you feel a little adventurous or is there that nagging gut feeling that whispers, "careful". If ya got the gut feelin', stick with it. If not, call her and see what happens.
I know how it is with the job market. I just finished MRI school to add onto my x-ray license to help me be more marketable. I've never seen the healthcare biz as tough as it is now,(in FL anyway) unless you are a nurse then you can have your pick of jobs.

Oh, and you are quite welcome Just be careful.

Originally posted by HopeHoldingFast
reply to post by Esoteric Teacher

 

Did she by any chance say "Why" she was out so late at night, in basically what I'm understanding is "the middle of nowhere" when you gave her a ride home? Did she mention what she was doing out there?

She lives near here in one of 4 or 5 house down the road which Y's off, but both roads are dead ends. I'm not sure who she is living with, or which house, though. She was getting a ride into town, but no, I did not ask her what she was doing that night, from her attire I just assumed she was going out and meeting with friends. She wasn't dressed overly provocative or sleezy. Tight shorts about half thigh, nice shirt/blouse with a hooded sweatshirt, not wearing the hood. Sort of a bubble gum look, but casual wear for what people wear around here and for what is in "style", I guess.

Thank you for the other advice, too. It seems to be the general consensus.

I know how it is with the job market. I just finished MRI school to add onto my x-ray license to help me be more marketable. I've never seen the healthcare biz as tough as it is now,(in FL anyway) unless you are a nurse then you can have your pick of jobs.

Same here in Illinois, job market low for health care workers also. I was nurses aide and emt prior to joining the air force and becoming a highly trained (assistant chief level) firefighter, now I'm having problems finding a job doing anything I have experience at.

thanks ,
ET

Originally posted by pirhanna

The girl is probably just lonely and a little off in the head. Not the optimal date, but hey, how long's it been?

Maybe too long if I'm thinking about some girl who is willing to show up at my door at midnight, who I had never seen or known of before.

How long has it been?

sigh. no comment

Men get into a lot of trouble by thinking with their little head, if you know what I mean. I heard about these two old guys that allowed a couple of women into their hotel room. The women started stripping, then stripped the old men. Long story short, they ended up stealing the old guy's clothes and their money. She might just be out for some fun. Then again, she might be out to love you up and rob you when you're not looking. Hmmm that reminds me of the scene from Oh, Brother Where Art Thou when the women robbed the escaped convicts in the woods. Just don't let her turn you into a horny toad.

reply to post by Skid Mark


I literally just got done watching that movie not less than 6 hours ago.

poor horny toad.