The Principia Discordia

I'm just here to give Badbury some more unwanted attention while he's off doing whatever a Badbury does-- catching wayward caterpillars for his up-and-coming butterfly temple before crazy Polish women devivify them with their steel-toed boots, most likely.

You're "just here," old man, to demonstrate once again just how far you have still yet to go. Stop stalking me. And don't send me any more private messages such as this one:

Man-up mother#er! All the time you spent trolling others on these very boards and you act like you're so #ing sensitive. I don't buy it. I think it's all #ing bull#. You act like Glen Beck, pushing his # on everyone then when even one person calls him something he goes into tearful convulsions.

"Oh, I'm so darn sensitive; it upsets woe-was-me-so much that EU would even mention that I'd want to kill him or that I've been in prison getting butt-reemed because I'm the prison bitch."

Please!

Kindly.

reply to post by Cadbury


Apparenly I was more correct in that particular message than I could have imagined.

Stalking. How narcissistic.

You're just amusing. How far I have to go is none of your business nor are you capable of really assessing that.

At least I didn't smoke the caterpillar and inhale too.

Originally posted by EnlightenUp
reply to post by Cadbury

 

Apparenly I was more correct in that particular message than I could have imagined.

No, you were not. It was just more inept and delusional spam from a troubled and very miserable mind. I hope that you feel better for it.

Stalking.

How narcissistic.

A quick glance at my u2u inbox, profile, and threads will instantly prove otherwise. Narcissism? Guilty. But not on your charge.

You're just amusing.

Thank you.

How far I have to go is none of your business nor are you capable of really assessing that.

Just as what I'm doing or how far I have to go is none of your own. So stop watching. Stop sending me hundreds of private messages laden with insults, innuendo and guileless chauvinism. Stop pretending. And go away.

At least I didn't smoke the caterpillar and inhale too.

“At least ME ME ME ME!”

Again, I don't care.

This is good bye.

reply to post by Cadbury


Ummm...hundreds? I think I counted two off-the-wallers crazies (that aren't so crazy) like that and that's one of them.

Goodbye! As you wish!

How awesome!

Are we all staying in character, or am I allowed to give applause?

On a side note, I wish I got cool PM's like that! Mine are all the boring old "Great post!" and the like

Lastly, and I am trying really hard mind you, how is any of this on topic?

Originally posted by adigregorio
Lastly, and I am trying really hard mind you, how is any of this on topic?

It is theory versus practice. It is not that the way has been tried and found lacking; it has been found difficult, and largely not tried. Those that try, tragically, sometimes lose their minds utterly and totally. Along the way I do believe he mistook me for the Buddha.

Originally posted by EnlightenUp
It is theory versus practice.

Aww, I saw that fight last Sunday. I paid for my whole seat, but I only used the edge!

Originally posted by EnlightenUp
It is not that the way has been tried and found lacking; it has been found difficult, and largely not tried. Those that try, tragically, sometimes lose their minds utterly and totally. Along the way I do believe he mistook me for the Buddha.

Instructions, stand and say this aloud:
I like Buddha on my toast, Yahweh!

The punchline needs something Hawaiian methinks.

Anyway, I think I am done for now. I must say this thread has done nothing to enlighten me in anyway. So kudos for doing our lawds work!

Hail dis-cord, it be flat.

reply to post by adigregorio


It is very important that he and others see what I'm about to say. Few know of the hidden, secret teachings of the Principia. They are for those with the eyes to see and the ears to hear. Here we go by example...

You got your money's worth. Noone is an actor here. Yes, the message above is real. It is from me. There is one other. Would you like to see it? It's all about sharing.

He's been on the offensive for years while I took it with few complaints. He likes me on the defensive-- that is ok; I can take it; there's nothing he can do to me because there is noone to attack. The poor child cannot even weather a couple minor pointed messages or friendly jibes. Yes, much correspondence has been exchanged between us, mostly by his initiating it. Comparing profiles and such, it will be apparent he hasn't any basis to use anything against me. It is doubtful he really remembers much of it and this is no doubt a sign of his early-onset alcohol-induced dementia. It's all typical of a chemically-drenched, abusive, paranoid and psychotic individual who is unable to control his impluses. It would be astonishing if he lives much beyond 30.

He does admit to me that he f-s up everything he ever does, to which he deserves credit for maintaining even that grossest level of self-awareness. Doubtless this will be no exception and noone really needs help seeing that from the outside.

I wish I could help him, and I've tried with all my heart to get to know him but it seems he just doesn't want to be helped. His family life was most likely quite dysfunctional. Naturally he is rebelling against those who have come to love him (he feels like a son to me), even a little bit-- because he is scared. He is projecting his own hostilities and obsessions onto me and thus reacting negatively to himself. He doesn't want to face his demons and in his current state it is unlikely he even could. He may have permanent brain damage from his issues which, given that they started and were carried through a critical period of fontal-lobe maturation, makes for a gloomy prognosis of recovery. Most likely he will end up someone's ward, of the state or a trust fund, I do not know which-- this is based on knowledge from another source, but yet publicly available; he may be estranged from his own flesh and blood kin.

I am saddened because so far what I see is a bright, talented yet angry young man who could get somewhere if he dedicated himself. I wish he would write more brilliant stories, as he seems to derive some fullfillment from it, but instead he sits around in a haze not accomplishing anything more than being sore from a long-overdue spanking that his own parents should have properly done. It is not meant to attack him, for that I cannot really do. It simply corrective with the hope he will one day awaken from his stupor.

When you read his posts, be mindful of the real tragedy unfolding behind them, then cry yourself to sleep at night.

reply to post by EnlightenUp


That's all fine and dandy, but I tried telling it to this guy on the corner...well he didn't believe a word of it! AND, after I finished the story it got really awesome!

At first he just starts drooling, ya know? I'm thinkin' "Woah, is this guy hungry for man flesh?"

Well, anyway, as the drool passes his second chin, both of his eyes roll up! And, would you believe it, he says this:

Once you become adept at leaning on backsliders, you will qualify for
a calling. Maybe you will be a Chaosopher (who delivers commentaries on
chaos) or perhaps, instead, a Chaoist (who goes around stirring up chaos) or,
perchance, a Knower (who knows better than to do either one).

After delivering that awe inspiring message, the guy grabs his groin and flies into the distance; being sure to stop for a few blurry photographs, which we will see later in a thread called "100% proof we aren't alone!11!1"

Anyway, if ye can't tell yet, perhaps a few more scriptures to bleed thine eyes:

KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!

I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess. There is
no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian
Movement. And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a
Golden Worm.

II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document
Numbering System.

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off
Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Bog on a Friday; this Devotive
Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day: of
Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday), of Judaism (no meat of
Pork), of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef), of Buddhists (no meat of
animal), and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the
Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original
Snub.

V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he Reads.

IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA!
PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.

Hail Eris

reply to post by adigregorio


Once one arrives at, "V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing What he Reads.", and deeply considers its ramifications, the light goes off and they know they are free to choose and the rest really doesn't matter. Thus, one affords oneself the broadest possible range of choices--possibly chaos on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, order on others. There's nothing more genuinely choatic than freely choosing between chaos and order as one deems appropriate. The greatest power lies at the balance of the extremes, affording one control over great opposing forces; all extremes are within reach.

reply to post by EnlightenUp


I think your sources are questionable. Care to cite them?

reply to post by EnlightenUp


I choose neither order nor chaos, because there is only chaos. I don't choose chaos, I live with it.

Now, I must go whistle in the dark, so my sole can be mended.

Originally posted by adigregorio
reply to post by EnlightenUp

 

I choose neither order nor chaos, because there is only chaos. I don't choose chaos, I live with it.

Now, I must go whistle in the dark, so my sole can be mended.

Ah, but you chose, poor sole (fillet).

Whether you stopped at V or not, I cannot tell, nor do I care. If you read it, then you probably read it. If you probably read it, then I have nothing further to say on the matter, oh, incomplete one, caught in the Erisian illusion. I think you read it.

Remember the 5 pebbles...which I didn't read because I stopped at V.

Originally posted by KilgoreTrout
reply to post by EnlightenUp

 

I think your sources are questionable. Care to cite them?

No, I don't care.

The next statement is true.

The previous statement is false.

Adigregorio....u are awesome!! I luv coming here and having a good chuckle for a change!!
Goooo babeeee GOOOOOOO!!!

Originally posted by SmokeyDawn
As for Enlightened....some people would just prefer to live THEIR life their OWN way...f*cked up
or not....so kindly mind your OWN f*cking life and stop getting irate at our gross ingratitude
of your "help" please!

I'll mind what I want if you don't mind, especially if one is minding me more than your authoritarianism would permit that they should mind. Your gross ingratitude is noted and hereby ignored. Insert part D, into badger B, or badger B into part V, whatever the case may be; tighten badger vigorously; repeat if necessary.



Good news though. The original PDF link appears dead. I found a version that has the lengthy introduction which isn't present in the OP's. It's seems solid for now.

www.23ae.com...

reply to post by Cadbury


Hmmmm. Principia Discordia. Have to admit I had never heard of it before, thanks, I read through and downloaded the PDF. I too found the Goddess many years ago, but not of the Avatar name in the text. She has been called the Goddess of 10,000 names, and to me She is the Mother of all things.

I DO remember the five pebbles, I yabba dabba do!

It is the page where my signature came from, he was abused as a paragraph so he came to live with me.

You may be wondering what I saw on that page, five pebbles, a pentagram, both, neither...Well since you are wondering I will call you woman. Wondering woman...(sorry, THAT was bad.)

Anyway, I must get back to the throne. I was out celebrating our goddess last night, at Weinershnitzel. Well, I have been the butt of ultimate snuff. After my meal I realized that there was no such thing as Friday. Then my stomach realized it, and my 2 day reign of Toiletaria started.

Don't worry, I rule with an heavy hand on the flusher.

Originally posted by SmokeyDawn
Adigregorio....u are awesome!! I luv coming here and having a good chuckle for a change!!
Goooo babeeee GOOOOOOO!!!

reply to post by adigregorio


Has Goddess answered my cries for help? Have you been delivered unto me by her will or is she just trying to start shizz? Is there a difference? Surely she hears our tormented wailings and does everything in her power to make it worse until a state of complete confusion is attained, upon which we revel in the splendor of perfect insanity, forever arfing into the infinite void that never answers back, forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.

As the official Pope, I dub thee a Saint and a Fenderson. No backsies.

Whenever a date for my transformation into a woman (another here has beaten me, and by "beaten" I mean sie is a really perverted hermaphrodite) is scheduled-- as of yet it is undecided-- you are invited to the operation if you would like to come. Free drinks and barbeque will be provided after the 10 credit emission fee. Free oil and filter changes for an extra 5 credits. Our tattoo artist will stab you 100,000 times with a miniature sword, making you mightier than the pen, in a wide array of designs, but only if you are willing to pass the badger test. I want to be just like Goddess.