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GOD for hire

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posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 12:34 PM
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I know it wouldn't happen...

... but if GOD said to you, "If you think you can do a better job then me, I'll give you all my power." What would you do?


The quick answer...."a much better job"


Bruce Almighty is a joke... He uses the power of God to create news stories and give his girlfriend bigger boobs!


First, I'd come down to Earth, and settle this whole Isaac versus Ishmael issue once and for all....so neither would claim to kill the others descendants in my name...(i.e. solving the Arab/Isreali issue). Then, I'd eliminate aids and other horrible diseases, and favor more gentle means of population control (like making many people in overpopulated areas barren).... I'd stay my hand on many natural disasters, and allow more crops to grow to feed the world. I'd change the laws of physics, so that nukes would be rendered ineffective. Osama, Arafat, Sharon, Bush, and others would be delivered to Satan a little earlier than promised....I'd invite the aliens to land right on the White House rose garden during a press conference...

So, all for Gazrok for God, please vote!!!



posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 12:35 PM
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Fury, can i have a word with you? MMMM yeah, i'm going to have to ask for you to move your desk again.



posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 12:41 PM
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Originally posted by goregrinder
Fury, can i have a word with you? MMMM yeah, i'm going to have to ask for you to move your desk again.


I love the image scene where he's imagining nordburg doing his girlfriend.

"umm yeah that's it, riiight..."



posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 12:42 PM
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How about a game of "Jump to Conclusions"???



posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 12:58 PM
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honestly great creator i am a man of your creation...
my place is not to emulate you...
my place is to embody your essence...
and if that be the case it must be so for a reason under the sun/son...



posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 01:48 PM
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Bigsage,

You're missing the Hallelujah and Amen at the end!



posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 01:49 PM
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and im no preacher...
im just a man like yourself...



posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 03:34 PM
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Message for the "pimp"

The links between SMA and any known TCA[WyTX] entity were suggested and reported within three SMA posts, almost a week ago.

SMA clearly has a good brain and a split personality.

In any Jekyll/Hyde cases like this at ATS, Hyde has always won out, at least in my observations since late April.

Your own observations were timely and useful.

BTW, I am still on U2U hunger strike.



posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 03:35 PM
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oh never mind i get it...
but why post here and not in secret...



posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 03:42 PM
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bigsage

I am not able to respond to U2Us, and I apologize for taking up valuable Forum space on trivia.



posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 03:47 PM
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First thing I would do is get all of the religios leaders together on television and make sure EVERY SINGLE PERSON on the planet was watching. I would then proceed to knock thier collective heads together and in a resounding thunderclap like voice yell,
"What the hell did I tell you!?!?!?" "Now cut it out or you are all going to feel some true wrath, not that piddly little locusts and frogs crap!"

That's where I would start anyway.



posted on Sep, 11 2003 @ 03:50 PM
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Oh, I would also destroy a town in wyoming.
Lay it to waste. utterly.
we're talking a half mile deep crater where the town stood.

and then when people ask me why?

I tell them they looked at me funny...




posted on Nov, 27 2003 @ 06:50 PM
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BiSage,
Man your no fun.
Id prolly give my Give all women bigger boobs, instead of just one, Cure PMS

Then I would make Bush, Saddam, Osama Mud wrestle eachother then force them to make love for all of eternity, of course with Bill clinton watching from the sidelines.
Deep



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