Inheritance drama. Am I the crazy one?Maybe but I don't think so.

My father died just over a year ago.

A year and 4 days to be exact.

My sister is acting as the executor of the estate (Wisconsin) which myself and 3 siblings are splitting evenly.

We'd been waiting about 6 months for a final check (refund of a deposit), that our attorney received in Feb.

In April my sister said the attorney was arranging delivery of the check to her and she just had to deposit that into the estate account, file with the court and checks would go out.

Great!

Last week, 3 months later, she gave an update- the attorney was arranging delivery of the check to her and she just had to deposit that into the estate account, file with the court and checks will go out.

Wtf?

Am I having de ja vu?

It's been 3 months.

They can't find a stamp?

So I called the probate court today and NOTHING has been filed.
I called the lawyers office to find out why we've been waiting 3 months for a check, only to be told our attorney was gone on maternity leave and would be gone "for some time".

My sister's story somehow changed to "they're going to mail me the check AFTER they file and I know she's gone I've been communicating with her clerk".

It's in Portage Co. some counties are 12 months to close the estate some are 18.
I'm not sure where Portage falls but 12 months have passed since my dad died.
My brother thinks you can file probate whenever you want and then the 12 or 18 month clock starts.

Even though legally allowed she refuses to disburse any amount until everything is filed "on the advice of the attorney "

I'm seeing HUGE red flags here but my brothers seem unconcerned and come up with excuses for her behavior as she doesn't respond for days sometimes on our group chat that was set up specifically for estate matters.

Am I crazy here?

We're supposed to be done already and nobody else seems to bothered that nothing is being done to finish up and all inheritance is still being withheld.

I've heard stories like this before and they all end with someone getting screwed over.

a reply to: abe froman

Less Déjà vu, more like Déjà poo.

I can't stand this piss taking and laissez-faire attitude.

I hope you get to the bottom of this conspiracy and that you get what is lawfully yours. Unfortunately, being in Europe doesn't afford me any practical advice, just moral support.

Sorry for your loss.

Unfortunately money will make people, even family, do horrible things. I hope this isn't the case for you. Stay on top of things and best of luck.

a reply to: abe froman

This sounds very fishy. Contact a lawyer, (I hate lawyers), to see what you need to do. They can tell you the deadlines that need to be met and what rights you and your siblings have. Get the lawyer's law firm name and call them and find out wth is going on. Methinks sis is up to no good.

Wonder if you could hire an attorney in the state where the inheritance attorney is. Someone who could give you good counsel and represent you there. Honestly it seems like you are being worked here. Hope that isn't the case.

a reply to: abe froman
So Abe, I went through a nearly identical experience with my father’s death 4 years or so ago, with my older sister, and sadly my mother (divorced from my father).

I want to tell you the outcome 1st: I finally won the fight that ensued, my gut was right… but the price was heavier and more costly than I could have ever imagined.

I haven’t spoken to my only sibling, lifelong friends, in four years. I treated her for her breast and lymph cancer 20 years ago, love her dearly… not a word. Then I was falsely arrested during the summer of love in Seattle immediately following an argument with my mother regarding the whole thing. I was innocent, but it took 1.5 years,5k, 3 nights and days in jail and utter insanity to be innocent… all a result of anger and pain and alcohol consumed to cope.

Mom, started talking to me again, but not my sister. A couple months later wild fires burned my families town to the ground in S. Oregon we escaped with our lives, utter chaos for a year, still not a peep from my only sibling. February the following few months, Ivwent to the dentist, they found what looked to be an osteoblast, or cancerous tumor in my neck or chin. It was a couple of frightening months, but after a couple surgeries it was removed and found to be benign… not a word from my sister.

I spent most of our savings getting through these events, including the pittance in retrospect I “deservedly got” from my sister that she was “holding onto.”

We left Oregon this spring, sold our house for a great profit, moved East with a fantastic, high paying job…recouping everything and then some. I moved 45 minutes from my sister… still not a word, no holidays with the family, no auntie for my daughter, my mother has to see everyone at different times…

I know you think you need it, that she isn’t thinking of you at all. I know the anger, suspicion and perhaps hints of hate you may feel inside. It isn’t worth a piss in the wind, compared to what will be lost.

Your fellow human,
J

The only way to start a fire under a lawyer, is with another lawyer. They have your sis as a go to on the estate. Sometimes it can take a while, we don’t know the situation.

My Mom had little bits here and there, and it took awhile to gather it together. The delay is more than likely due to cheap lawyer handling the estate. Try not to place blame on your sis, all she’s doing is signing papers. Good luck.

I have seen lawyers tie things up for a year many times. This could be a problem with the lawyer, especially if the lawyer is on maternity leave now, things get screwed up sometimes when there is a pregnancy.

I think your sister may be kind of making excuses for the slow lawyer coupled with her herself being overwhelmed.

Or there could be something nefarious going on too, who knows, you will have to talk to everyone including your sister at the same time. It is not easy to handle an estate, I have done two of them and it is a lot of work for the person who is administrator.

Communication is essential and if your sister does not know what is going on she could be making things up to make it look like she does. This seems to be a common human trait...male or female it makes no difference.

I was always contacting people when I was handling the estates I did and I had enough, I would not do it anymore unless I had to. Selling stuff is nothing, but keeping track of everything and properly accounting the money sucks. I had a decent income and I was self employed so I could take the time off and take care of things, my employees got called back to work late one year, glad both died in the winter when I had no big construction jobs I was in the middle of. Both the estates I handled took six months to complete and I was lucky the houses had names added to them and accounts were already set up with direct inheritance. Life insurance policies also had to be dealt with and in one annuities were seperate from the lawyers job.

You guys need to get together on a zoom call or something and talk about this all at once.

a reply to: rickymouse

Everything is done except for depositing the last check.

All properties are sold.

Everything else is done.

Everything is in the bank except for the last check which is about 4% of the estate.
I'd rather them burn the last check and just settle up actually.

a reply to: abe froman

I'm probably wrong, but here was my first thought....

Sounds like someone has made an investment with your money and they're waiting to get their return(hopefully) before you will get your owed money.

originally posted by: abe froman

I've heard stories like this before and they all end with someone getting screwed over.

I've seen Perry Mason episodes like this and they all end with someone getting murdered.

Get a good lawyer and make sure you have a solid alibi at all times.

Or get a great lawyer and you can be caught standing over the victim with a bloody knife and still be acquitted.

a reply to: abe froman

never let women handle the heritage.

a reply to: abe froman

I've got several years of experience in this wonderful world of executors. In our case it was a lot of money and I mean a lot but the same thing goes no matter the amount of value the estate has.

My wife was the executor for her mother who passed away and at the same time her brother passed so she then became the executor of the family trust. The sheer amount of BS an executor has to go through is crazy. The executor is legally responsible for any problems. First there's the audit, then there's paying the taxes and after that there's finding out the accountant didn't file something or other and has to start all over again. And then you find out you're not allowed to distribute the money because 50% has to be held back to pay the bills. And then you find out probate takes a year.

And then you get to be dealing the the attorney's and their fees who are communicating with the government. And in all that, the executor is legally responsible for it all working correctly.

The ONLY reason why in our case the money was distributed is because my wife called the accountant and told him to do it. The attorney was pissed beyond belief because "that's not how it works" but in the end the executor has final say and has the ultimate authority as well as the legal responsibility.

Some bullet points:

- If her brother had not died, the trust would never be distributed. He made sure everyone knew that nobody in the family would get a dime. Period. How since he was legally required to do it? He never had a phone - you'd have to call someone else to get a message to him and at some point he might return the call. Their father died in 1992. He never filed the probate.

- You think the person dies and the money goes out? Wrong. At least 50% will not be distributed for up to 2 years to cover the costs of taxes, attorney fees and fines.

- From personal experience: Say someone in the family wants the dead person's house and there's 3 people that get the inheritance. The person buying the house sends the money to the probate and then gets a third back as their distribution. Bottom line, if someone dies, buy their house, you'll make out like a bandit.

a reply to: abe froman

All I can say is that family members can suddenly display different aspects of their personality when it comes to inheritances. I think you're correct to be concerned as to why this is going on for months on end.

Cheers

Only you know your sister.

If she can be trusted then leave her to it.

If you have doubts then graciously and politely talk to her about it. But don't do it via text message nor on a group chat.

spam