Southern Jokes

We can laugh at ourself

Here are a few I saw on the net

A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the deep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a calm and soothing voice, says, "Alright, take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is silence, and then a gun shot is heard.

The hunter comes back on the line. "OK. Now what??"





An Arkansas woman is in the welfare office filling out forms. The welfare officer asks her how many children she has?

"Ten boys."

"And their names?"

"Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, Leroy, and Leroy."

"All named Leroy? Why would you name them all Leroy?"

"That way, when I wants them all to come in from the yard, I just yells 'LEROY!', and when I wants them all to come to dinner, I just yells 'LEROY!'"

"What if you just want a particular one of them to do something?"

"Then I calls him by his last name."



Q: Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
A: She can't touch it till she's fourteen.

Q: What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck?
A: The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.


Hope yall liked them and would like to hear yours

[edit on 14-2-2005 by Amuk]

The hunter one really had me busting stitches.

I'll have to remember some and post later. Use to know lots.