Classic Talking Dog Joke

A man and his dog walk into a bar. The man proclaims, "I'll bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk."

Bartender: "Yeah! Sure...go ahead."

Man: "What covers a house?"

Dog: "Roof!"

Man: "How does sandpaper feel?"

Dog: "Rough!"

Man: "Who was the greatest ball player of all time?"

Dog: "Ruth!"

Man: "Pay up. I told you he could talk."

The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out the door. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at the guy and says, "or is the greatest player Mantle?"

A guy walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. He asked the bartender for a beer.

The bartender sets the beer down. The monkey jumps off the guy's shoulder. He runs over to a bowl and gobbles up all the pretzels, The monkey then grab's the bag of cheese puffs and ate them. The monkey then jumps on the pool table and grab's the eight ball. He tosses the eight ball in his mouth and swallowed it whole.

The bartender asked the guy did you just see what year monkey did? The guy said yeah that little SOB is a pain in the butt what do I owe you? The man pays for the beer, cheese puffs and the eight ball and leaves.


About a week later the guy with his monkey walks into the bar again. He orders a beer, ihe monkey jump's down on the bar. It then grabs a bowl of potato chips and gobbles them down, he grab's some popcorn gobble's it down. He got to the end of the bar and there was a big jar a Manischewitz cherries. The monkey pulls a cherry out and looks at it and then he sticks it up his butt and pulls it out and swallows it.

The bartender asked the man did you see what he just did? The man said yeah the little SOB will still eat anything. But now he measures it first!

a reply to: ChefSlug

Classic. I know one like it but it's way off color.