1 Bajillion Ounces Of Soda In A 12 Ounce Can....

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

I think I've just realized a great new way to defend the castle when the SHTF !

Soda cans... a makeshift catapult...

My grandma could always tell if someone spilled sweet tea, no matter how much it may have been cleaned up. And cokes have waaaay more sugar.

Upside kanga - it's not ant season.

originally posted by: Hefficide

Man logic: explode eight more sodas until the entire kitchen floor color matches. Easier than mopping.

Women are so complicated....

*Man Style*

Wipe up with socks until wife says " FFS!>>>$%^I'll Do It!!"

Yes Dear, I'll be um...over here>>>>

Peace

My husband feels your pain. He had a coke he'd forgotten about in the back seat of the car that randomly exploded on him one day ... Yep, I think there's still a smear of it we can't get off up by my window.

He also discovered this morning what the bottom of a high chair cushion looks like when three different children have used it and no one has bothered to think to clean the bottom of it. He's not sure, but he thinks it may have evolved it's own unique biome.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

Thank you for the laugh. That was great and right up my alley. Humor really is the best medicine.

Very good rant and thanks so much for the laughs, highly visual in my mind....what to do? what to do? all the while the sheet is literally hitting the ceiling. :-)

Reading your post did make me think of one thing, years ago after hours and hours of working in the yard and "sipping ice cold lager" here and there I finally finished the jobs. Kicked off my shoes and socks and went into the garage for the infamous just one more beer before I shower.
Nice cold glass bottle right out of the fridge but wet and slippery due to the heat and humidity that day. Took all of one second for the bottle to hit the concrete and explode cutting my lower ankles and feet. Nothing major just a mess but then I realized I was standing in the middle of a mine field of glass in bare feet and half pissed.

The broom I so urgently needed to make my way to safety was at the other end of the garage:-(

Did I say it was a hot hot day? well the flys knew that too and they were right on the beer and the blood seeping through uncountable little cuts.

I eventually made my way out taking some small slivers of glass with me but I had no choice, once the wife got home it was tweezer and lecture time for me.

I have to say that for about a week I personally thought the garage smelled wonderful, YogaGinns thought otherwise:-)
Regards, Iwinder

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

Did you happen to notice how the 12 ounce soda also can act like a time machine?

At 115 degree weather a 12 ounce soda disappears in seconds, and you experience moments of lost time, you can't remember drinking that much on the last sip. And sometimes when you go for another sip minutes later, you find that you somehow jumped to the future where you had already drank the whole can.

But in the kitchen, when you drop a 12 ounce soda can and it bursts open and starts to spray everywhere, it feels like it is spraying for hours. Time slows down considerably.

I had a girlfriend doze off in bed while holding a can of Big Red soda. When it fell out of her hands, we both tried grabbing for it at the same time to stop it from spilling, but somehow the can transformed into a hot potato. Or a mexican jumping bean, or something. It was bouncing all over between us, pointing itself every which way but up. By the time I wrestled the crazy thing under control like a fireman being whipped around by a fire hose, it was nearly empty.

Somehow I got lucky and the fitted sheet absorbed most of it. There was only a little that got through to the matress. I told her to grab her hairdryer from her overnight bag and after i soaked as much as I could with a towel I blasted it with the hair dryer. Seems to have worked! Then I had to change the sheets and we both hopped in the shower. I was just starting to think of falling asleep but little did I know I would be up for another 2 or 3 hours dealing with the mess and doing laundry.

The bonus was that, while we were doing the laundry we had to walk out to the laundry room, and this stray kitty who I feed happened to come by in need of a snack. If that soda hadn't spilled all over us and my bed, I would've been fast asleep at the time that poor kitty cat came over hoping to see me up and about...

I really want to find someone to rescue him sometime soon. He's only about a year old, I know because I remember when we first started seeing him with his mom, whereas before we only saw the mom alone. Now we don't see the mom as much... We already have a cat, against the landlords rules, and our apartment is way too small to try to hide 2 and plus its not my name on the lease so not my choice anyway. I tried to get some pics that night but he's a little feral in his mannerisms so i got blurry photos and one ok one of him looking away from the camera... When I can get a better picture I will try to find someone to take him in with the caveat that he has to be released back in this neighborhood if it doesn't work out...