What to say?

a reply to: Destinyone

LMAO on That Des!!! LOL!!!

a reply to: butcherguy

I know women can be just as bad.

Both genders have their rotten apples.
For example in the OP's story unless the woman had some tragic event happen to her , I think she is being a mean bi***.

But I've met "that guy" before, kept ignoring him , warned all my friends about him, and the one woman who didn't listen to me and thought that I was wrong, went out on a couple of dates with him, then got dumped as soon as he got what he wanted.

Luckily my BS radar has always kept me safe.
I'm happy my dating days are over.

a reply to: Rainbowresidue

Gee whiz, I didn't want you to take your pic down.
I understood why you put it up and don't take issue with it. I think you should put it back up. Players suck and I think that their nickname should be male slut instead of 'player'.

a reply to: butcherguy

I never took the posted pic down dear Butcherguy.
Might have been something happening with your laptop/PC.

I stand by my double face palm.



And I hope the OP has better luck next time.

originally posted by: AlphaHawk
I wouldn't normally turn to posting such a question here on ATS, but figured I'd throw it out there because I'm genuinely stumped..

Firstly, the story.

I work in the construction industry where I work on a fifo (fly in fly out) roster which consists of 28 days of work, then fly home for 7 days off.

Because of this I find it hard to meet new people, so I turned to online dating, anyway got to talking to a girl and we have quite a bit in common, she's even ok with the kind of work roster I have, that's usually a deal breaker for most.

Anyway, we've been talking for just over a week now, but due to her work commitments we couldn't meet, so I've now flown back to work and we were exchanging a couple of text messages a day...but now she wasn't responded for 3 days.

Keeping someone interested for a month without meeting them is a tough ask, or she's met someone else. Both are real possibilities and if so fine, but it would be nice if she just said it to me.

I'm not too sure what to say/do next?

So many thoughts are going through my mind...what if my last text to her didnt go through and she thinks I've stopped talking to her?? Do I just let it be and cut my losses? Do I bite the bullet and ask what's going on? How do I do it without sounding needy/pushy?

Bah! Women!

A subject that should be discussed more often! Men and women relationships! Men from Mars and women from Venus?

I apologized to my children for not teaching them on how to date! For some people .......Dating today seems to be alien on this planet.

Rule number one - Never forget ....... wait too long to make your move and you move into the "friends" cycle.

BUT on the other hand it is good to not move too fast either!

Don't let your work schedule play with your mind - It will happen...be paitent my friend.... Love is very powerful and it moves in very mysterious ways.

Online dating is probably really shallow and chances are the people on it are in 'potential relationship conversations' with more than one person.

If they got 'hit on' by say 20 possibles, made conversation from 10, eliminated 5 either by them or the other, they might still be in conversation to a few and maybe got bored of the entire sitting around conversing thing, or met another person from online or in person, got back to their ex, were already in a relationship but were just testing the water, all sorts of possibilities.

My man instinct is telling me to tell you to let it be bro.

a reply to: AlphaHawk

I work in the construction industry where I work on a fifo (fly in fly out) roster which consists of 28 days of work, then fly home for 7 days off.

That right there is going to be a problem with most women. One I know her husband is gone 3 months and back a week. And has 5 more years of that crap.That's how I got to know her lol!! Just saying. she was lonely ... bored etc..

Long story that cannot be told here. But, humans are humans etc..

It's really not that hard to figure out.

Good luck!!

a reply to: AlphaHawk

Relationships have many stages; sometimes these days in our hectic, mercurial lives we often skip a stage or ten, a phenomenon which can lead us to believe the (cough, cough) less intense or involved stages were unnecessary anyway. However, my experience has demonstrated (I've learned this the hard way) that every stage of a new relationship is vital--even if one or more are very brief.

Sounds to me like without really even reaching stage one with this woman, you've mentally skipped forward a few more than she has. Relationships require fulfillment of responsibilities from both the parties involved in order have a chance of staying afloat. Accepting or reaching a state of desire to accept such responsibilities and reciprocate them is a big step.

At this "sort of stage" you're at, neither you nor her have committed to any kind of mutual responsibility whatsoever, and the last thing you want to imply to her at this point is that she's not fulfilling some assumed responsibility to communicate with you in some regular interval. That'd drag me down and lead me start snipping at strings that aren't even attached yet.

Keep it casual no matter how one of a kind she might seem. That way, you're heart will thank you down the road, as will you're liver. Best of luck.

a reply to: AlphaHawk

What to say? It really is simple - Leave one more text or voicemail (whichever you determine is the less worrisome of the two), saying that you haven't heard from her in a long time, and that you were wondering if everything is alright.

My policy is that I give them 3-7 days to respond; if they respond within my timeframe (a week is stretching it; I think you'll find 3 days is a good estimate), then at least they are responding. If not, ditch them and look elsewhere (I do accept excuses though...provided they sound legitimate).

Remember though, you might not like the answer that they come back with.

-fossilera

originally posted by: fossilera
a reply to: AlphaHawk

What to say? It really is simple - Leave one more text or voicemail (whichever you determine is the less worrisome of the two), saying that you haven't heard from her in a long time, and that you were wondering if everything is alright.

My policy is that I give them 3-7 days to respond; if they respond within my timeframe (a week is stretching it; I think you'll find 3 days is a good estimate), then at least they are responding. If not, ditch them and look elsewhere (I do accept excuses though...provided they sound legitimate).

Remember though, you might not like the answer that they come back with.

-fossilera

no.

Man gone girl looks..girl talks to man. Man and girl have fun. The other man is done. This goes on for a long time. Then man that's gone comes back. repeat... been there done that ..bottom line. Stay with your mate

a reply to: RUFFREADY

Hey now, my strategy works in my case - in three days I can tell if they've lost interest or not, because well, if I don't get a response, then I move on (I don't like waiting for one, so to me it makes more sense to move on if I feel that the interest was lost)

-foss

EDIT: No offense taken - Live & learn right? When I am officially not in my 20's & 30's, I'll probably be saying "You know, Ruff was right".

a reply to: AphoticJoe

Well you've hit the nail on the head, I have skipped forward a few more steps than her, only a couple, but I have put high hopes in someone I haven't even met yet, which, given my circumstances, was always going to happen!

But anyway, she did eventually reply to my text, and has been sick the last few days, so that's that...I am now going to keep it more casual from here in, as I still have around 3 weeks left up here. Closer to my getting home I'll see if she's still interested in meeting then..

a reply to: AlphaHawk

Yay!
I was just checking in to see how it was going for you - that is great news! I'm glad for you.

Remember, this is meant to be the fun bit, lol! That sounds like a good plan you've got yourself - good luck x

a reply to: beansidhe

Thanks!

We'll see how it plays out..

a reply to: AlphaHawk

Listen to Kayla. just be sincere and honest about it. And the advice I gave my brother, which helped him a ton. Don't just stop talking to other women because you just met one. Ideally for online dating to work you should be talking to between 3 and 5 at the same time. Don't lie about it to any of them just tell them that you aren't playing games or any of that and that you are giving each of them a fair chance. For my brother it was he would tell them that he gives each person he actually meets at least two more dates if the first one goes well before meeting the others. This way you are not over investing in any one woman and it drives them to compete a little for your attention and no one gets hurt, disappointed perhaps but not hurt.

And for those that question the whole compete line. Online dating is a bit different than most other conventional ways of finding romance. Most other ways put you in a situation where you have to deal with the other person frequently. Online dating doesn't it requires both participants to voluntarily interact.